What in heaven’s name is going on with the Zodiac signs?? Apparently when I wrote my plea to Mother Nature yesterday,  I should have crafted one to the ruler of the Universe, as well.  (BTW thank you, dear Mother Nature—I got in a most fabulous run today).

News on Google Street is that all of the astrologists got together and decided to throw in a 13th Zodiac sign, even though we’ve gone thousands of years just fine with the original 12.

[[[ Newflash! The rulers of the Universe must have heard my plea as well! As of 1/14/2010… the NEW news on Google Street is that nothing has changed in the good ‘ole Zodiac sign world… You were in Aries and got bumped to Pisces? Welp, you’re still an Aries! THANK GOD! Once a Sag, always a Sag. Ima happy girl now. But read my rant anyway… it’s all in good fun 🙂 ]]]

The Original 12

My Birthday = December 10th, thereby making me a Sagittarius

Sagittarius for me indeed

Now, here’s a list of the new Zodiac sign dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus:* Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

Um, hello Ophiuchus. Where did you come from? And why are you now MY Zodiac sign!?!?

To me, this is bananas. Bah.Freaking.Nanas. I’ve grown up thinking I’ve been a Sagittarius all my life (in fact, I love this stuff so much I even wrote about it on my FAQ page).  Adding a 13th sign into the mix is like saying Mercury isn’t a planet anymore. Oh wait, I guess they’ve done that. Sorry, Pluto. Your donezo.

I'd honk.

And, sorry old SagitarriousGurl100 AOL screen-name, you are officially a fraud. (Did anyone else have totally, super- kewl AOL screen-names growing up… dialup internet wordUP!) getty image

My childhood astrology dreams are officially ruined.

So why throw this wrench into the mix? What does it matter, anyway? Actually it shouldn’t really matter. I’m not that into the Zodiac Signs. Nevertheless, I’ve always identified pretty dang well with being a Sagittarius.

I’ve also always loved learning when other people are Sagittarians. But I think that is because I like to bond with my fellow December-babies (holla!) So I guess I’ll just stick with that.  (They better not even try to stick in a 13th month to the calendar year. Shit would hit the fannnnnnn! I REFUSE to be anything but a December baby. I love it too much).

Anyway, maybe I wouldn’t be so bitter about this nonsense if it didn’t change my sign. Or maaaybe I wouldn’t be so bitter if my new sign was bumped to one of the original 12. But no, that’s not what is happening here. Apparently I am now an Ophiuchus.

Ophiuchus. This seems too manly for me.

Excuse me? I’m a what? That sounds like the name of some new kind of horrendous foot fungus. Or the name of some really scary sea-creature monster that lurks at the bottom of the ocean and would eat you up in a heartbeat .

Better not get close to me or I’ll bite you and give you the worst case of foot fungus you’ve EVA had!

(And for the record, I’ve never had a foot fungus. Ew.)

Plus, I can’t even pronounce Ophiuchus. Why couldn’t they  have dubbed the 13th sign with a name that at least sounded pretty? I mean, Sagittarius is a pretty cool sounding sign name. They should’ve at least realized what they were contending with and upped the ante  a little to come up with a more appealing name. And yes, I understand they’ve been been aware of this flaw in the Zodiac sign system and have known about this new sign for yeeeears . But why add it in now? And now that they have… why haven’t they gone into more detail to describe what exactly it means?

My dearest astrologers, y’all should have done your homework and at least come up with some identifying characteristics for this new sign before you threw this out into the arms of the public. I need details. I’ve tried to research this baby, but I’ve only found stupid banter and myths (and the cries of people who are extremely pissed now that they’ve got the wrong Zodiac sign tattooed on their body – oops?) Well newsflash, I don’t roll like that. If you’re gonna throw a new label on me, you better explain to me what it is.  I am a learner so I need (okay fine, I want) to know what all of this means.

So until I hear more about this Ophiuchus character I think I’m just gonna stick with being a Sagittarius. I don’t like change. Which makes perfect sense, because Sag’s don’t like change.

End rant.

Now tell me, are any of you all affected by this astrological shift?  Anyone as irked as I am, and stuck with the new label of the Ophiuchus sign (oh, and can someone please shed light on how to even say this word…)? I mean seriously now… WTF?!

P.S. If they went and changed the Chinese zodiac signs… I think i’d be okay with that. Currently, I am the sign of the donkey. Or ox. Or something like that.



Filed under birthdays, my story, Zodiac Sign

17 responses to “WTF.

  1. Two things. First, I am having a major identity crisis because I am now apparently no longer a Virgo? Thanks a lot rando astrologists. Second, my best friend’s birthday is Dec. 10th!! 🙂 Yay!

  2. JUST saw this story on MSNBC, and they called it the “unpronouncable 13th sign.” So at least you’re not alone. Major news networks don’t know how to say it either…

    And apparently, I am now an Aries instead of a Taurus. And husband is Scorpio instead of Saggitarius…

  3. I’m in crisis as well! I used to be a Scorpio, and well, that’s me in a nutshell. The good and the bad. And I LIKED it. And now, Libra? Zzzzz. Snooze-fest. That is just NOT me. I don’t accept it. (I don’t changes that are sprung on me, either!). Today was the first I heard of all this…

    I say, once a Scorpio, always a Scorpio. 😉


  4. My wife and I are both aquarius. Is that a good thing? We’ve been married for twenty years now, so I guess it can’t be horrific, right?

    Nice to meet your blog.

  5. Now I’m a Taurus! I don’t like this at all 🙂

  6. Ick. At least you don’t have Cancer now… how lovely… Goodbye Leo…

  7. apparently it is only after 2009 – don’t freak!! I refuse to be an Aquarius….

  8. those BORN after 2009

  9. That means I’m a Sagittarius now! I knew I was a sag all along (my bday is 12/27). That means my husband is an Oculus? what was that sign again? hehehe…the whole new sign thing is a little weird.

  10. Frickin LOVE this rant!! Sorry it made me lol to the entire way though 🙂

    Honey, I am Dec 13 so I am right there with you. What the hell–Ophiuchus? Really?! They couldn’t think of a better name and not something that sounds like it belongs in a petri dish? I am true Sag and fit all the characteristics so to hell with Ophiuchus’s. Or is it Ophiuchi? Plural, singular, who knows? Grrrrr.

    Sorry to rant 🙂

    • Thank the LORD the ruler of the Universe granted my request and allowed us to stay Sag’s… ha I kid I kid. But seriously. I’m so happy the news came out today and said nothing has changed! Once a Sag, always a Sag. (That sounds kind of gross. Don’t think about what that rhymes with.)

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